Being a parent is tough. Sometimes, the line between creative solutions and questionable tactics gets blurry. Here are a few unethical parenting hacks for those desperate moments that some slightly mischievous parents have thought of:
1. The “Clean Up Later” Bribe:
For bigger kids… If you need a nap and they keep bothering you every time you try, tell them, “Listen, I’m going to take a nap. When I wake up, we’re going to clean the house, top to bottom.” You’re welcome.
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2. The Language Barrier Bluff:
I once read about a parent who would change the TV language to Spanish later in the night, then when the kids were confused, she’d be like “well you must be tired and ready for bed if you can’t understand it anymore”. Honestly, pretty brilliant.
3. The Impossible Pet Promise:
When I was a kid, my mom would send us outside with a handful of salt. She said if we could put salt on a bird, they wouldn’t be able to fly for 10 seconds, and then we could catch one and keep it as a pet. I spent months outside trying to catch birds!
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4. The Diversionary Disaster:
Sometimes when I see that my kid is about to meltdown about things I can’t fix, I’ll create a minor problem that I CAN fix to diffuse the situation. Like “oh no, her favourite book is in my husband’s car across town and she’s asking for it, let’s go find it!” And I know exactly where it is. Works 99% of the time.
5. The Ear-Turning Lie Detector:
My friend told her kids that their ears turn red when they lie. Now they cover ears whenever they lie!
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6. The Phony Neighbor:
I once called the home phone and got my daughter to answer it, then pretended I was a neighbor complaining about the noise and insisted she keep it down.
7. “Tiredness = Time Out”:
Anytime my kids bicker or fight in the evening I tell them, “Fighting means you’re too tired to get along.” Either bedtime right now or figure it out together.
8. The Neverending Driveway:
Have your kids “paint” the driveway with water. As the sun dries up, they’ll have to keep going over it thinking that it wasn’t painted.
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9. The Fake Nap Party:
When the toddler really needs a nap I say “we’re all going to take a nap! Right?! The big kids are gonna sleep on the couch so you can have the room all to yourself like a big boy!” Me plus the three big kids all pretend we are taking naps as well just in different places so we can “have our space”. And when he wakes up we all just comment “well I woke up before you”. It’s a fun game for the big kids and gets a toddler to sleep without thinking its “not fair” and eliminate a cranky toddler!